Just to keep my spirits up :)
1. go home to Laguna and go on vacay mode
-play with my cats
-catch up and go to the mall with my mom
2. go to Tagaytay with law people and NOT fall asleep
3. go to Lester's birthday party
4. semplanning in Zambales with my sisters
5. travel in Ilocos with my Council Clingy Loves :)
6. go to Corregidor with friends
7. go swimming, malling and clubbing with Besh and Hon
8. resume working out, preferably, play sports
9. celebrate kuya's birthday
10. Moot Camp
11. outing with my batchies
12. ATTEMPT to have an outing with my kuya and cousins
13. Ninang's 50th birthday celebration
14. go to the parlor and get my hair and nails done
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Why love doesn't work for me
One of my tried and tested principles in life is that if I really want something, I should work for it, because if I work hard enough, I can get what I want. I say this because throughout my life, I have seen myself excel in those things which I both want and work hard for. It was never enough for me to just want something or just work hard for something; these two things, I have learned, should go hand in hand for me to be happy and to grow and excel.
For example, in my studies, I always try to make each semester challenging, because I realized that I want things that are hard to get . I need to keep myself motivated, or else it is safe to expect that I will slack off and get low grades. I realized this when I got to college. I didn't like my course that much so I didn't want it and didn't work that much. Things changed when I started taking subjects with terror profs, and getting involved with many things so I'd be forced to juggle everything and use my time wisely. Also, when I was in my undergrad, I genuinely wanted to go to law school after graduating, but I thought my chances of getting in were slim because I was not an honor student. This challenged me even more so I worked very hard and thankfully I got in, and was even part of the top 100 passers. Anyway, I think you get the idea.
I have practiced this principle in all the aspects of my life. When I want something, I discipline myself so I can get it, and if I have to do something, I try to make things interesting so I'd want it to be able to work for it - and as I've said, I usually excel when I practice the principle properly. I always get what I want. There is however one stubborn exception to this, and that is love, falling in love, and being in a romantic relationship.
Of course I want to have it. Of course I want to live happily ever after. I don't even have to come aup with a way to make it interesting. The want factor is there.
I can honestly say that I have worked hard to make each of my past relationships work. Of course I've had my share of mistakes and immature decisions, but I have done my best to explain, to communicate, to compromise, to adjust, and to make sacrifices.
The thing with love is this: no matter how much you work for it, it won't work unless the other person works just as hard. God knows I have tried to motivate that other person to do so.. but of course I cannot force it on that other person. Unfortunately, I have not met that person who wants me enough to work hard for me also, and does actually work as hard as I do to make things work.
Of course being a relationship shouldn't be equated to work. Somehow there has to be a natural connection, but a connection can only take a pair so far. Difficulties and differences are inevitable, and for a pair to get over these, a little, or sometimes, a lot of work is required. In all my relationships, I have always been willing to work for it but unfortunately, I have not met that person who has the same level of willingness.
Right now, I don't think I ever will meet such a person.
As I've said, the want factor is there. I don't think that's in any way wrong. So is it wrong that I work hard for it? If it is, then maybe I am bound to live a loveless life. I can't not work hard for something that I want. I can't just leave it to fate. I can't just sit around and wait for something good to happen. That's not me. When I want something, I must work for it. If I don't, then that means I don't want it anymore. As I've said also, these two things must go hand in hand for me to be truly happy.
I have been working hard since I was 15 years old. I am dog tired. Of course I still want to fall in love and live happily ever after, but I am so tired. :( I wish I didn't want it anymore so I could rest.
For example, in my studies, I always try to make each semester challenging, because I realized that I want things that are hard to get . I need to keep myself motivated, or else it is safe to expect that I will slack off and get low grades. I realized this when I got to college. I didn't like my course that much so I didn't want it and didn't work that much. Things changed when I started taking subjects with terror profs, and getting involved with many things so I'd be forced to juggle everything and use my time wisely. Also, when I was in my undergrad, I genuinely wanted to go to law school after graduating, but I thought my chances of getting in were slim because I was not an honor student. This challenged me even more so I worked very hard and thankfully I got in, and was even part of the top 100 passers. Anyway, I think you get the idea.
I have practiced this principle in all the aspects of my life. When I want something, I discipline myself so I can get it, and if I have to do something, I try to make things interesting so I'd want it to be able to work for it - and as I've said, I usually excel when I practice the principle properly. I always get what I want. There is however one stubborn exception to this, and that is love, falling in love, and being in a romantic relationship.
Of course I want to have it. Of course I want to live happily ever after. I don't even have to come aup with a way to make it interesting. The want factor is there.
I can honestly say that I have worked hard to make each of my past relationships work. Of course I've had my share of mistakes and immature decisions, but I have done my best to explain, to communicate, to compromise, to adjust, and to make sacrifices.
The thing with love is this: no matter how much you work for it, it won't work unless the other person works just as hard. God knows I have tried to motivate that other person to do so.. but of course I cannot force it on that other person. Unfortunately, I have not met that person who wants me enough to work hard for me also, and does actually work as hard as I do to make things work.
Of course being a relationship shouldn't be equated to work. Somehow there has to be a natural connection, but a connection can only take a pair so far. Difficulties and differences are inevitable, and for a pair to get over these, a little, or sometimes, a lot of work is required. In all my relationships, I have always been willing to work for it but unfortunately, I have not met that person who has the same level of willingness.
Right now, I don't think I ever will meet such a person.
As I've said, the want factor is there. I don't think that's in any way wrong. So is it wrong that I work hard for it? If it is, then maybe I am bound to live a loveless life. I can't not work hard for something that I want. I can't just leave it to fate. I can't just sit around and wait for something good to happen. That's not me. When I want something, I must work for it. If I don't, then that means I don't want it anymore. As I've said also, these two things must go hand in hand for me to be truly happy.
I have been working hard since I was 15 years old. I am dog tired. Of course I still want to fall in love and live happily ever after, but I am so tired. :( I wish I didn't want it anymore so I could rest.
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