Why love doesn't work for me

 One of my tried and tested principles in life is that if I really want something, I should work for it, because if I work hard enough, I can get what I want. I say this because throughout my life, I have seen myself excel in those things which I both want and work hard for. It was never enough for me to just want something or just work hard for something; these two things, I have learned, should go hand in hand for me to be happy and to grow and excel.

For example, in my studies, I always try to make each semester challenging, because I realized that I want things that are hard to get . I need to keep myself motivated, or else it is safe to expect that I will slack off and get low grades. I realized this when I got to college. I didn't like my course that much so I didn't want it and didn't work that much. Things changed when I started taking subjects with terror profs, and getting involved with many things so I'd be forced to juggle everything and use my time wisely. Also, when I was in my undergrad, I genuinely wanted to go to law school after graduating, but I thought my chances of getting in were slim because I was not an honor student. This challenged me even more so I worked very hard and thankfully I got in, and was even part of the top 100 passers. Anyway, I think you get the idea.

I have practiced this principle in all the aspects of my life. When I want something, I discipline myself so I can get it, and if I have to do something, I try to make things interesting so I'd want it to be able to work for it - and as I've said, I usually excel when I practice the principle properly. I always get what I want. There is however one stubborn exception to this, and that is love, falling in love, and being in a romantic relationship.
 
Of course I want to have it. Of course I want to live happily ever after. I don't even have to come aup with a way to make it interesting. The want factor is there.

I can honestly say that I have worked hard to make each of my past relationships work. Of course I've had my share of mistakes and immature decisions, but I have done my best to explain, to communicate, to compromise, to adjust, and to make sacrifices.

The thing with love is this: no matter how much you work for it, it won't work unless the other person works just as hard. God knows I have tried to motivate that other person to do so.. but of course I cannot force it on that other person. Unfortunately, I have not met that person who wants me enough to work hard for me also, and does actually work as hard as I do to make things work.

Of course being a relationship shouldn't be equated to work. Somehow there has to be a natural connection, but a connection can only take a pair so far. Difficulties and differences are inevitable, and for a pair to get over these, a little, or sometimes, a lot of work is required. In all my relationships, I have always been willing to work for it but unfortunately, I have not met that person who has the same level of willingness.

Right now, I don't think I ever will meet such a person.

As I've said, the want factor is there. I don't think that's in any way wrong. So is it wrong that I work hard for it? If it is, then maybe I am bound to live a loveless life. I can't not work hard for something that I want. I can't just leave it to fate. I can't just sit around and wait for something good to happen. That's not me. When I want something, I must work for it. If I don't, then that means I don't want it anymore. As I've said also, these two things must go hand in hand for me to be truly happy.

I have been working hard since I was 15 years old. I am dog tired. Of course I still want to fall in love and live happily ever after, but I am so tired. :( I wish I didn't want it anymore so I could rest.